Until our love is as bold as the worlds hate, we don't deserve to be heard.
I'm remembering Peter, who denied Jesus three times, but somehow underwent a complete transformation of heart. This same Peter was brought before the very priests who had Jesus put to death just a few months earlier & he spoke with such boldness that they marveled at him. The priests were left scratching their heads, yet they knew that he had been with Jesus. Get this: because of the way he acted, the way he spoke so boldly, the priests believed that somehow, even though they had put Jesus to death, that Peter had recently been with him.
At this point Peter's heart had been affected, he no longer lived for himself, but this overwhelming ferocious love in his heart propelled him right past the fear of death, that had once controlled him, pushing him to a boldness that could only come from being with Jesus. In Acts 1 we see that after Jesus rose again He met with the disciples 40 days right before the day of Pentecost. An intimate relationship was developed here, Peter no longer saw just the man of Jesus doing miracles. He then saw the beautiful King, who set aside everything He was & freely took on death for him, he saw the King of Glory, whose eyes burn with love for him. I believe he then began to scratch the surface of what love really was about.
Right before His death, Jesus asked Peter; "would you really lay down your life for me", that was right before Peter denied Him. We see in Jn 21 that after Jesus died Peter went back to doing the same thing that he did before Jesus had come, he went back to fishing, his heart had not yet been pierced with an unquenchable love for Jesus. They catch nothing, but suddenly they see Jesus & He tells them cast your nets on the other side where they catch a multitude of fish. After eating Peter stands on the shore with Jesus, Jesus looks at Peter with fervent love in His eyes, He holds up a fish & says the words that would burn Peters heart... "Do you love me more than these?" He didn't just ask Peter if he loved Him more than fish, He asked Peter if he loved Him more than his own life. The last thing Jesus says to Peter that day was "follow me."
Right before this in vs. 18 Jesus says "18 Most assuredly, I say to you, when you were younger, you girded yourself and walked where you wished; but when you are old, you will stretch out your hands, and another will gird you and carry you where you do not wish.” Jesus says when you were young you cared about yourself & you went wherever you wanted, but now that you're old you'll reach for me, I'll cover you and carry you where you don't want to go. We know that Peter dies as a martyr, loving not his own life, yet fully consumed and in love with the beautiful King that he had once denied.
There's a difference from knowing Jesus and allowing your heart to overflow with His love to where you no longer belong to yourself. When you heart belongs to Him every decision, thought & everything you live for is to fulfill the desires of you Beloved. I'm reminded of a song by Lifehouse, the lyrics say "How can I stand here with You & not be moved by You?" How can we know this beautiful King and not let Him become everything to us, how can we know Him & not let Him permeate every area of our life.. Yes, including our finances. The one who I love died to set people free, yet they walk by because they can't see Him in me, they can only see me. I don't want to live for me, that's a worthless life. Consumed with Him, that's the only life I can live, It's the only life thats of any worth. I must be like Him.
He valued me so highly that He set himself aside, took on no reputation and eventually died with me on His mind. Can we value Him so highly that we set ourselves aside? Can we allow Jesus to affect us, where He becomes our reward & we no longer value possessions but we allow the ultimate possession (Jesus) to fully possess our heart. You can't live like that & be normal, not with a pierced heart. Bill Johnson says "This quest is not a journey for the faint of heart. It is far too costly to pursue for mere curiosity."
So look around, consider everything you have, everything you've always wanted, the dreams you've always had for yourself and hear Him say... Do you love me more than these... Follow me..
